There is nothing “creative” about Ashwin. He took the Chief Creative Officer title because he was the founder.

Ashwin thinks he knows a lot about many things. He  can barely manage Fatmen, but he’s quick to point out flaws in Bill Gates’ methods of building an organization. Trust us,  we’ve already tried explaining irony to him but he doesn’t seem to get it.

Being a Malayalee and a good masseuse - not interlinked in any way, he became the longest serving intern at Lowe. Two and a half years to be precise.

He believes that in an organization, 20% of the employees do the work of the remaining 80%. We trust him, because he was always an integral part of the 80%.

His biggest strength comes from the conviction that his team likes him and respects his creativity.

They have written this bio.

Rishabha makes great presentations and is an even better presenter. He is our PPT Usha.

Rishabha has an “a” at the end of his name which is silent. He uses this as a conversation starter in most boardroom meetings.

Rishabha came to Mumbai to become an actor. His first role was to act like a junior planner. He aced it and soon he was asked to act as Senior Planner, Very Senior Planner, Extremely Senior Planner etc. He also acted as founder of a University in Pune and head of Strategy at 82.5. He stays in Lokhandwala, much like his ilk.

Rishabha is paranoid about most things. Including cholesterol. Other than taking his antacids on time, he is very disciplined about what he eats. Come what may, everyday at 4pm, he will have something oily and fried.

He wants to be a Professor who drives a red Mini cooper. For which he doesn’t eat non veg all of Tuesday, half of Thursday, Navratris and any other day as instructed by his mom.

All said and done, clients love Rishabha. One even married him.

When Parikshit walks into any meeting and says he is from Fatmen, everyone laughs. This ability of his, to make people laugh, unintentionally, is special.

He loves books, movies and football. He read more than 50 books during Covid. He was one of the three people in India who kept Penguin afloat during this difficult time. We don’t know the other two.

Parikshit is indispensable for his clients. One called him while he was taking his pheras. What’s more bizarre is that Parikshit almost picked it up. More crazy things include taking campaign beta tapes to Siddhivinayak for blessings and convincing fliers at 5 AM at the Mumbai airport to carry press material for urgent print insertions. Once he even travelled to the interiors of Mizoram to convince a tribal king with 39 wives and many off springs for a Vim campaign. Now, he is not allowed at Siddhivinayak, Mumbai airport or in Mizoram. His wife also doesn’t allow him to carry cellphones to weddings.

Parikshit has a lot of knowledge on topics you don’t want to talk about. Like yoga, philosophy or where to find vegetarian food in Vietnam.

At a laid back place like Fatmen, Parikshit still manages to get work done from everybody. Because he has a great ability to keep repeating himself.

Kshitij tells us that he is a writer but that is up for debate.

Kshitij is one of the richest people in Dahisar. Thanks to his proprietary science called ‘Kharcha Kyun Karne Ka’. It would honestly make for a bestselling book, but spending money on printing would go against its very principles.

Kshitij pens beautiful poetry in a very rare dialect -The Tapori Sang of Malvan. An example is “Haq se, naha dho ke Lux se”

On the nights that he is not in the mood to write, he follows Vidyut Jamwal on insta.

Kshitij always needs a dedicated loo. Because he has stomach issues. And for this he regularly consults a dentist. Because it is his uncle and doesn’t charge.

Skandh’s parents took 18 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days to decide on his unique name. But they call him ‘Kaku’.

Skandh was a rapper before Gully Boy. According to his Spotify Bio - which he wrote himself, in third person- “Skandh is a force to be reckoned with in the Uttar Pradesh Hip Hop Scene.”

Skandh’s tracks are angsty and full of pain, he strongly feels like his life has been full of traumas. For a guy who really really REALLY loves paneer to be diagnosed with lactose intolerance is nothing short of traumatic, c’mon.

Kim Jong Un follows Skandh on Spotify. He uses his tracks as a more painful way to torture his prisoners.

Skandh was hired because it was believed that since he is from UP, his Hindi would be good. But that was not the case because he went to a convent school. Then that should have made his English good. But that’s not the case either because his convent was in UP.

Inspite of all these great qualities listed above, Skandh cannot be fired. Because that will lead to a tirade of angsty rap songs. We cannot afford that. After all, we really care about the prisoners in Pyongyang.